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CYHRA Fend Off Thief Trying to Break Into Tour Bus, Then Weirdly Brag About It

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Swedish metal supergroup Cyhra seem pumped after fighting off a would-be thief who tried to break into the band’s tour bus last night. The group’s vocalist Joacim “Jake E” Keelyn managed to fend off the person trying to break into their shared tour van with Evergrey. What’s weird, though, is that their management company, Blue Lemon Management, turned around and quickly drafted a press release about it.

A lot of times, in cases like these, you’ll just hear about what happened because the band posts about it on social media to tell fans about it, which makes sense. But the statement put out by Cyhra’s management that was reported on by The PRP reads like a press release if I’ve ever read one, like the kind of thing that bands generally send out to promote a new song or album. There’s even quotes from band members within their statement. It’s almost as if they tried to write their own news story about it, and if I was a lazier writer I could just copy and paste their statement and make that my article. I won’t do that, but I do have to show you some of the weird phrasing in this thing.

“The incident occurred while the bands were performing for an enthusiastic crowd in Luleå,” the statement reads. “When Rickard Zander, keyboardist for Evergrey, returned to the tour bus, he discovered an unknown individual in the process of gathering stolen goods. The suspect had already packed computers and drinks from the bus and was ready to flee. However, this is where the situation took a dramatic turn.

“In a courageous move, Cyhra’s frontman, Jake E, tackled the would-be thief and held him down until the police arrived.”

Kind of a weird brag to release a statement congratulating yourself and bragging about your own “courageous move,” but hey, I guess it’s not any weirder than making up t-shirts of your own stab wounds.

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